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Bereaved military family tell of there exprencce

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Leading from my first post


on may 8 th we tried to contact our son a wife to find out more details however all we got was she was not able to talk her family were not allowing us anything at all no news nothing it was a horrible time I called the unit I argued down the phone with the army eventually on may 10 th a retired captain was sent to our home he was now to be our support during everything still we weren't told anything he had to come and go to try and get us details

as a mother I needed to know what happened to my child I needed more information than sorry he was killed

it felt like weeks before we knew anything in fact was only a day or two but at this time it feels like a eternity

we found our son had been killed whilst being being brave he took the fight to the enemy he turned the tide of the battle saved his men along with a mother and her two children who were trapped in the fire fight

at the time it did not help me to come to terms with things all I could think was why him why did he do this why put himself out there

but as a wife of a soldier and a mother I knew really it was his job but also was who he was as person and as proud as I felt the pain didn’t go away

as the following days passed in a blur we waited and waited for news of when our child was coming home like all deaths I thought he would come home and we would get to lay out child to rest

however we were then told he would come home but he had to go to oxford for his autopsy I couldn’t believe this process would take as long as it did

the day s and nights were long and dragged in still no contact with his wife we knew nothing at all

next we knew was that they wanted us to travel to England to be there when our child a body returned to the uk

the army arranged everything the flights hotels ect and our welfare officer took us to the airport that morning it was all in a blur I couldn’t talk much all I wanted was to be able to see my child I wanted to hold him in my arms I needed to see him myself it was like this was happening to someone else not me at the airport we wee ushered into the BA lounge where a area was cordoned off for our privacy and the staff were amazing with us not that we could eat but they laid on food at our table drinks ect we didn’t have to move at all

I just sat in a daze tears wouldn’t stop rolling down my eyes

then we were ushered to our flight as we came out the captain from

our flight came down to meet us and walk us on to his flight paying his upmost respect all I wanted to do was lay down and hide from everyone I couldn’t stop my tears

the flight was only a hour or so but felt like a lifetime we finally landed in London the captain then announced please can everyone stay in there seats we have a very special package on board and he then announced who we were and why we were on his flight and would everyone please allow this HEROS family to leave the flight first as we stood up the whole plane stood up we walked off to a standing ovation of claps and well wishes I was embarrassed and felt unworthy we weren’t HEROS we were merely a HEROS family but to see and feel how everyone felt made my heart melt my knees were like jelly as we stepped down from the flight escorted by the captain of our flight

we wee then ushered to a car and rove for what seemed like a lifetime to our hotel all I wanted was to get to my room away from The public eyes and get ready to see my son a wife I needed to be with her I longed to feel her arms around me be close to the love of my son a life

about a hour later she arrived with her parents and sister she greeted me with a cuddle and handed me my son a st Christopher chain which I put around my neck right away then we all headed in to the hotel something felt wrong his wife was young and I put this down to grief

we were asked what we would like to drink I asked for a Diet Coke my husband asked for coffee then changed to a pint as everyone was having a drink she turned to her father and said it’s ok have what you want daddy the army are paying

I went outside I was enraged by her family’s attitude towards why we weee there

I know people deal with greif there own way but I felt embarrassed and disgusted the army don’t pay for

ur drinking they cover ur meals tea coffee juice ect nothing else

I pulled myself together to go back in but I couldn’t deal with it all I excused myself and went to my room to have a rest and told them we would see them at dinner

I found there was more families in our hotel even though we never approached anyone we met a few outside as we had a cigarette we didn’t really talk much it’s all too raw for everyone we then seated for our meal as the waitress was taking the drinks order his wife said pink champagne am like no the army dont pay for these drinks

well my sean would want me have it so am having it I was so upset at the way she and her family was acting like my sons death gave them a entitlement however her officer said yes it’s ok I couldn’t eat much o felt drained and we still had to sit down to talk about our sons funeral and other things after dinner the hotel gave us a conference room To talk when we started I asked how This would go as my son wished to be laid to rest with his nana who is here in Aberdeen he had wanted to be cremated

however she said no that’s cold she was laying him rest in Belfast where she lived as hard as this was for me to accept I had no choice at all I had to accept it

so I asked for his family to carry him to his grave side and his men to lay him to rest this was when she said he hated his family ect I was distraught and left the room in tears I wanted to rip her head off right there and then

in the end his father uncle cousins carried him from his hearth to his graveside

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