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Bereaved military family tell of there exprencce

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Still now 11 years on baby I feel that fire fight in my dreams I wake up screaming your name

I don’t know if that will ever leave me son but after everything we endured the first five years it was soul destroying

then came the twins

this two boys who in all honesty I felt looked so like you however when I look back you always looked like daddy so was it what I wanted to see was these boys yours

yet my dreams you would come and be so angry with me telling me mum they are not my kids

all I wanted all I needed was a part of you in my arms and for a short period I felt I had that

however after time and due to some family members ur wife her family I was then banned having contact with the twins

so I was given a part of you and was all pulled away from me for all I did was ask your wife to lay money aside for your boys which I don’t think was a bad thing to ask I know you would have made sure your kids were ok

but Amanda and her family weeent interested all they did was spend and spend

your blood money as I call it and even now she has a new man and two kids her own ur death keeps them

ur pension keeps them it’s so so wrong baby but it’s the new laws eh

makes me angry to be honest while ur boys struggle with a small pension it’s all so deeply wrong

i was never gave anything I am still trying get ur granddaddy’s watch back with no results as yet eh

just wish she would just give me whatever and let it be done

she has parted with ur pictures the engagement one the wedding ones

it’s like u never ex sister in there lives if am honest babes and I hate that part of it all

i kmow she needs to move on but it’s me ur mother it’s me left knowing ur laying in a place you never wanted to be and I can’t do anything at all about it it’s driving me mad

I begged her to help me make contact with ur boys again but she refused that as well

I really believe you didn’t know her and her family well enoph baby but I kkkw you lived her but this is so unreal with all these lads not doing there papers right afore heading off to another country where you may never return and the devistation that’s left behind

you leaving this earth thinking she would make sure your parents were ok if had no t been for ur regiment I don’t think we could have coped at all son x

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